After going to the Dominican Republic this past January, I couldn’t ignore the pull on my heart any longer. Ever since my first trip almost ten years ago, I dreamed of teaching there. The beautiful country and its people captured my soul. So I accepted a position as a teacher at a Christian school in the Dominican and planned to move in August.
Only the more real my dream became, the less I wanted to go. Part of me didn’t even want to relocate anymore because I began obsessing over all the challenges I will face. There will be cockroaches that fly and tarantulas roaming the streets at night. I won’t have a car or a house anymore. Plus, the monthly stipend from the school won’t cover the cost of living and I have little money in savings. Even if I went, I thought, I would make it less than a year before I would be forced to return after running out of cash.
The smart thing to do, according to those around me, would be to wait another year to save more money. This would have been the “wise” decision, but according to who? Our society or God? Because I felt like I was supposed to move this year. It had to be this year even though I couldn't explain why.
Everything in my life is leading me closer and closer to this "unwise" and risky choice. First, part of my back went numb last year and on what turned out to be an unrelated note, I found out I had to have major spinal fusion surgery leaving a long scar down my back. If I had waited to have the operation until I was older, which was the plan, my body wouldn’t have healed as well. And the excellent surgeon who saved my leg when things went wrong would have retired.
Then, I just so happened to read a last-minute update from my church inviting people to go on the mission trip this past January. My school district threatened termination if I went on the trip although it was an empty threat and nothing happened but it forced me to apply to the school in San Pedro as a backup plan. Everything was falling into place.
Since my passport would expire in January 2021, I wanted to renew it before I left in August. Renewing the travel document at the beginning of March seemed like a reasonable decision. Five months should have been plenty of time. The government agency sent me an email saying they received my passport application, deposited my check, and listed it as “in process.”
Then everything shut down for months and months and months. When offices began opening, I called to inquire about my application. The man read his lines from a script and ended with, “it comes when it comes.” I tried telling him I was moving to the Dominican Republic but his response was, “We can update your information and mail the passport to your new address.” I didn’t even bother explaining that the Dominican Republic was not in the United States and that I couldn’t even get there without my passport, so no, they wouldn’t be able to mail it to my new location. I hung up.
There was nothing I could do, as they suspended expedited services, so I tried to forget about it. There were moments when I wondered if I was wrong. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to go this year. Deep inside, there was a quiet whisper urging me to trust God, except I didn’t know what it meant. I trusted him no matter what, but that didn’t mean the passport would come in time. Some nights I went to sleep repeating, “I trust you, God,” in my head over a hundred times until it was true. Trust is always a decision, and I did my best to trust the one who created the universe.
Today an email came from the U.S. Department of State. They shipped my passport book and will arrive next week. Thank you, Jesus!
“It comes when it comes.”
At first, this statement was aggravating when I heard it over the phone. I wanted answers to my questions, and no one had them. But after a while, I understood what it meant. There is no point in worrying about the future. I shouldn’t be anxious when something doesn’t happen within the time frame I want it to. Everything happens when it happens, and not a moment sooner.
In 22 days I hope to be sitting on a plane, reading a book and heading for the Dominican Republic. If God wants me to move, he will make it happen. I did nothing except make decisions against my better judgment and logical mind, hoping for the best. I have no idea what I’m doing. Only God could have written the story of my life with such perfect timing.
And now there are rumors about the airports closing in the Dominican Republic… But I’m done worrying (for now) because I will get there when I get there.
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