One day, I hope you recognize it is not your fault. When your relationship ends, you are not to blame. You may feel regret and maybe you made some mistakes, but there is quite literally nothing you could have done to avoid the painful outcome. The ending was inevitable. We are all just casualties in his lifelong pursuit to evade responsibility of any kind. It is not your fault.
He told me I was his best friend, and he loved me more than anything. He used to say I made him happy and claimed he wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. There were moments when he picked me up and spun me around, staring adoringly up into my eyes. He insisted I was the only one he had ever been with and that he needed me in his life.
Then for no reason and without warning, he moved on to someone else. Actually, several others. He made identical remarks and went through the motions with them too. If he says the same words and does the same acts over and over again, I wonder at what point do they become meaningless? If he declares his steadfast devotion for ten or twenty ladies, does he really love any of them?
I don’t want him to keep using and abusing people before tossing them aside. I wish there was something I could say to prevent the heartbreak he will put you through, but you don’t know me. You have no reason to trust a complete stranger who married the man you think he is. You might assume I have something to gain or that I want him back, although this could not be further from the truth. Our relationship was over the day I thought he died because he never came home and I have no intention of ever talking to him again. If you prefer to be with him, he is all yours. I’m not trying to sabotage his happiness by warning you of what is coming, I’m trying to lessen the hardship that is on its way if it hasn’t come already.
After talking to the women he has hurt, I see his pattern and know he will never change. For a long time, he attempted to get back together with me after everything he did. He tried to tell me he was a transformed man while simultaneously moving on to the next innocent victim. And if you think he has grown or has become a rehabilitated man, is it possible for someone to improve that drastically in such a short amount of time with no help?
I guess there is a chance he will temporarily be faithful to you. You could probably push the other young women in his life away, try to make him end relationships with females, and monitor his phone usage, but what kind of relationship would that be? And it’s impossible to be with him twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Even if you did manage to secure his full dedication for a while, the other girls aren’t the heart of the issue...
Unfortunately, he will never be the guy you want him to be. I wish I could convince you to read everything you can about pathological liars, chronic cheaters, pornography addicts, narcissists, sociopaths, and personality disorders. Learn how to identify these characters and save yourself. However, there may be nothing I can do to help you. Perhaps you need to realize who he is on your own. At the end of it all, I truly hope you choose freedom because it is not your fault.
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