Upon returning to school the Monday after 10 days in the Dominican Republic, I anxiously awaited the repercussions I was promised if I went on the mission trip. I waited for my principal to announce my name over the loudspeakers. I expected the call to be for me each time the phone rang. I waited all day for the moment to come when I would either be suspended or fired for going to the Dominican. But nothing happened.
It has been about two months since my return and at this point, I feel comfortable assuming I still have a job. Money is deposited into my bank account every two weeks. My ID badge has not been deactivated. Other staff leave papers in my mailbox from time to time. My principal nods her head to greet me when I pass her in the hall.
So after threatening termination and forcing me to struggle between Trusting Jesus and Being Reckless, the school district did nothing. I didn't actually have to choose between my job and Jesus. The whole thing was a bluff. It was like they completely forgot about it but obviously I'm not going to ask. I'm satisfied with making an educated guess that I haven't been fired. I don't need official confirmation.
In any case, I should have been thrilled to still have a job, which I love, but I wasn't. Of course, I was thankful for the opportunity to continue teaching my students but I found myself disappointed. I have been talking about moving to the Dominican Republic for the past 10 years, yet I keep questioning when exactly to go. Part of me wanted to be fired so I wouldn't have any other choice. Living in this foreign land would be my only option.
Although I wasn't actually fired, I genuinely thought there was a strong possibility that I would be. As a result, I just so happened to have an interview at a school while I was in the DR. I half-jokingly asked the man bringing us there if he knew of any job openings after hearing the school district's empty threats and he arranged a meeting. After returning home, I kept in contact with the director of the school and proceeded to send the necessary paperwork. However, I was still contemplating whether or not I was truly going to relocate. I was trying to find the perfect time to move until I realized such a time doesn't exist.
In the end, I don't know anything. I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm supposed to go. I just do my research, try to make the best decision I can, and hope for the best. I don't give advice because each person is unique and every situation has numerous variables. What is best for one person might be terrible for another. All I want to say is life is too short to make decisions in fear. Or to avoid making decisions because of fear.
As of this week, the director officially offered me a teaching position at the school in the Dominican Republic! The irony is, I never would have applied for the job if it weren't for my current school district's attempts to prevent me from doing what I thought was right.
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