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Writer's pictureKayla Noworyta

Fear is a Liar: Part 3

Updated: May 11, 2020

My first official birthday party was the best and worst day of my childhood. There were less than 10 family members in attendance but it was too much and I hated the attention. If I was in a situation where I was forced to outwardly express my happiness I ended up completely drained every time. After the party when I was alone again I decided to sprawl out on the carpet and began kicking my legs. My parents warned me against this as they knew I was going to give myself brush burns but I couldn’t have cared less. For some reason, I felt the urge to continue brushing my feet against the rug so I accepted the results.


The time I was trapped in Canada because I didn’t have 50 cents to walk back across the bridge to the United States, I didn’t get mad because it was my fault. I brought a credit card instead of cash and paid the price. It cost $40 in international fees and charges to obtain the two quarters I needed to return home. I should have known it wouldn’t be free to walk both ways over the bridge and I accepted the consequences.


I couldn’t complain about driving a three-hour daily commute for the past three years either. I chose to accept the teaching position; I was the one who didn’t want to relocate to the faraway city. I could have found a different job but I loved my school and I wanted to stay. In my mind, the only option was to deal with the side effects without objecting.


Lie: I always deserve to face the consequences of my actions…


I'm responsible for the decisions I make and my response to circumstances I cannot control. I make mistakes every day although the ramifications are sometimes not so obvious. I could easily make poor choices instead of healthy ones if I let my guard down (which is why I’m not a Christian). I’m not any better or worse than anyone else. I used to blame myself for everything because there was always something I could have done differently or a better reaction I should have chosen.


I'm the one who got married without doing extensive research on lie detection. I signed the agreement without learning about men who don’t have a conscience and are unable to feel guilt. As a result, I was at peace and accepted the outcome which included being alone for the rest of my life. I deserved it. But I was also afraid and hesitant to receive true love.


I did absolutely nothing to earn the love of a humble man who loves me unconditionally. I don’t deserve a man who has never once criticized me or thought less of me because of what happened in the past. I never thought I would find someone who respects me, genuinely cares about me, encourages me, and supports my goals. I may not be worthy of his love and I definitely didn’t do anything to warrant his affection but I’m grateful for it.


Fear almost prevented me from experiencing unconditional love. Because of this man, I can better understand how much God truly loves me and it is amazing. Technically, I deserve to face the consequences of my actions but that is why God is so good. Sometimes I don't get what I deserve and I'm eternally thankful.


Truth: God loves us unconditionally, especially when we mess up. Jesus died for us and offered grace even though we don't deserve it.

 


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