Marveling at the sunset and its magnificent beauty inspires me to conclude there must be a God. Also statistically, what are the chances the Earth just fell into orbit around the Sun at the precise distance necessary to prevent the enormous star from burning us to death or freezing every living thing? Therefore, God must have created the solar system. Do many physicists truly believe the universe came from nothing? I have never seen something burst into existence without a cause. It makes no sense.
Yet the skeptic inside me sometimes wonders if I’m wrong. How can I be certain there is a God? I suppose it’s possible I’m mistaken.
However, I believe God revealed the truth on the day I discovered the character the man I once married had been playing. God showed me the actor behind the mask and orchestrated the scene because that terrible morning contained far too many coincidences for me to suppose they occurred purely by chance.
First, I woke up at exactly four o’clock in the morning for absolutely no reason to realize I was alone. He had never just not come home, and it worried me. Second, his excuse for not driving home right after work had to be job-related so my parents would go to his coworker’s house to demand answers. They had grown suspicious of who he really was while I didn’t have the slightest clue. Third, I assumed he was dead when he didn’t come home after his “work event” the night before and called the police department. There had been a brutal snowstorm the night before which coated every surface in several inches of potentially deadly ice. Finally, his phone had to run out of battery and die for the first time in history during the icy blast so the police officer would attempt to track it.
If I slept in like I frequently did on the weekends, he would have returned home later that morning and I never would have known what happened. I was entirely oblivious, and I didn’t accidentally stumble upon the revelation. The day was like a series of unfortunate events, except they turned out to be significant because God used them to rescue me.
Then two years later a Godly man appeared in my life, even though I had been avoiding the male species altogether. I didn’t look at them or talk to them. I didn’t want a husband, and I wasn't searching for one. This man showed up when I least expected it, and I still don’t understand how it happened.
I wasn’t even supposed to go on the mission trip to the Dominican Republic this past January because my school district threatened to fire me if I went. Plus, I’m a teacher and everyone else in the group was in a medical-related field. The amazing man I met wasn’t supposed to be a translator that week either, but somehow we ended up meeting and got to know each other.
During a season when most of the world shut down, I met a man, and thanks to the internet and video chatting, I got to know how wonderful he is. Everything closed and I couldn’t go anywhere, so this was the least likely time for me to meet someone. I had a better chance of finding a genuine guy when I lived in a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere for three years. I literally did nothing to make this happen. In fact, I tried everything I could think of to prevent it from happening.
The only explanation is God. It was all Him. We wouldn’t be together if it wasn’t for God. This man has been the best, most unexpected surprise I didn’t ask for, and I’m grateful to have him in my life.
I wish I could say there are no longer moments when my faith diminishes, but I cannot. From time to time, my rational mind struggles to comprehend what I can’t see. How does a foreign peace cover me when life around me is a disaster and where does it come from? How do my fears and anxieties disappear after talking to the creator of the universe? It makes no logical sense, but maybe that’s okay. I don't need all the answers to have faith.
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