The thought passes through my mind instantly. Before my consciousness is fully aware of its existence, the sentence has already echoed within my head. “How can you just leave your husband like that?” Lacking any and all knowledge of the circumstances surrounding the divorce, I automatically judge the Christian woman I barely know. Even if it is for a second. In no way did I think I was better than her, but I judged her decision.
The moment I found out who Brian really is and what he is capable of, the judgemental thought came back to me. I was reminded of how quickly I had been to question another woman for divorcing her husband just months earlier. Even if it was only for an instant, I judged her for her choices without any thought.
I never thought I would get divorced. It had never been an option, no matter what we went through. I did not understand that some people do not want to change. We could have stayed together for the sake of being married forever, but he had already mentally left me. I could have asked him to stay, but I couldn't force him to want to be faithful. They say there are two sides to every story, but sometimes one side can single-handedly ruin everything and there is nothing the other side can do about it.
I knew I needed to talk to the woman I judged. She was in the exact situation I now found myself in. If I knew in my heart that I was right to make the choices I did, then she must have made the right decision, too. We both married "Christians" who masked themselves as honest men of integrity. They were good at what they did. Master manipulators. They convinced their churches, families, and friends they were who they were pretending to be.
We ended up talking for hours. She told me her story, which helped me more than I thought it would. Her soon-to-be-ex-husband gave me a glimpse of what mine will be like when he turns thirty. Both can certainly change, but neither wants to.
Recently, I subtly judged others yet again. You would think I would have learned my lesson by now, but I haven't. I began to question how people can stay at jobs they hate. I could not understand how they could choose to be miserable every single day. Then, I was put in a position where I had to essentially choose between teaching at a school I love and doing what I believe is right, potentially getting fired. Theoretically, this should have been an easy decision, but it wasn't.
I gained a lot of respect for parents who work to provide for their children, even though they do not enjoy their jobs. We always have the option of quitting, but sometimes it is not that simple. Sometimes there are consequences to our actions and sometimes there is no clear right or wrong decision. I hope Jesus reminds me to be humble, next time my mind automatically begins to judge.
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