Who decided to give the first hug? Who thought it would be a good idea to squeeze another human being with their arms? Why don’t we bump elbows or give foot-fives? I want to meet the person who came up with hugging to ask them why they did it and what motivated them to do so. I want to understand. I wish I lived in a society where hugging was frowned upon. I think someone should try to create a different form of affection for us to use.
I don't understand how someone could actually enjoy a hug. They don’t make me feel better and I don’t like feeling trapped or unable to move. When I was little, it took my mom a while to realize I wanted her to sit next to me when I got hurt, as long as she didn’t touch me. I think it was difficult for her because her natural instinct was to embrace me when I fell down, but she respected the fact that I did not like being hugged.
I have no idea what it feels like to actually want to hug someone. I have never felt the urge to wrap another person in an awkward embrace. When I say hello, I smile and wave. When I say goodbye, I wave. When someone is crying, I want to comfort them with words. I will gladly give fist bumps, high fives, and even a chest bump if warranted. Those seem more celebratory anyway.
As much as I despise hugging, I will tolerate hugs from children. And if dogs could hug, I would let them hug me, too. My students have no idea that I hate hugs. I cannot reject a child who needs love and affection. They would not understand why I didn’t want to hug them. Therefore, I let them hug me each day, but I do not ever initiate it.
After I had surgery on my spine last year, my students were not allowed to hug me for a few months. This was extremely difficult for them and I did feel slightly bad about it. At first, I was thrilled. No more hugs! Instead of embracing them with my arms each day, I began giving hand hugs. This is when you go in for a high five, but keep both of your palms touching as you each wrap your thumb around the other person’s hand. However, after giving hand hugs to sixty students each morning and imagining the hundreds of germs that were now making their way over to my hands, I actually found myself wishing they could hug me again. I spent a lot of time washing my hands during those months. Part of me was relieved once my students could hug me again, but only a tiny part.
For a long time, my family could not understand why I don’t like hugging. When I asked them not to hug me if I was upset, they would misinterpret my request. They genuinely thought I said I did not want a hug because it would break a wall that was holding back my tears. However, there is no wall. I simply hate being hugged. They could not understand how someone could possibly hate hugs. I get it, though. I am still trying to figure out why most people love them.
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